A SOONER CELEBRATION!

It was a good day.

After I ran over a squirrel on my way to work, I went through my mundane exercise of "daily retail sales bartering" with a thousand or so idiots that don't know their ass from a spark plug and plotted secretly how to make random customers chase ghost "over the phone" diagnostic technical advice, a bad idea if I am in a pissy mood.

"You're car won't start? "Well, first off, will it turn over?"

They say, "Yes, but it just dies."

I say,"I am sorry, but it will cost you 7000.00 dollars, and it may void the warranty that you do not have."

They say,"But, I ain't got no warr..."

"And therefore you are fucked and you will be sad."

They say, "FUCK THIS, I'm going somewhe....."

"We'll tow you out to that bigass hill south of town and we'll let you go with a push down towards that narrow bridge. Them brakes might work, if you can "miracle" that fucker into runnin."

"I need yore credit card # to continue my diagnostic procedure, have a nice day."

"Next."


They grit their teeth.....









and then this walks in the door, and all activity stops, ...except for people using the bathroom IN ANOTHER ROOM, and others gawking and dropping stuff as she glides up to me.








"I need a part.." she purrs.

"I need ....you to change my rear end grease, lube my chassis, and line-up my front end,.. I'll leave it with you and you can take your time and do it slowww... and right."

FBI WARNING
At this point and time , all further material has been siezed by the FBI.

THE TRIUMVIRATE HAS AWOKEN

OKIE BONSAI

Hello ladies,

Long time no speaks, and this makes me sad, so it is time to rejoice and revel in the thought that we have all gathered in the realm of the Goddess, and all that "truly" know this and are helpless to our power cower in the dark and wail and lement for quick release from the tsunami of pain that we fart in their general direction.

Jac, I am tickled shitless over 3 things.

1. You haven't murdered anyone ....yet.

2. You have met Babs, and I am envious.

3. Mack Brown sucks bull semen.

Babs,

1. You have now been to West By Gawd, Texas.....by gawd.

2. You have met Jac and she is just a big sweetheart, (and she could kick nuts through a skull)

3. There is lots of cheese in West, I am coming back for some of that shit.

I am deeply involved in Fantasy Football now, so I am even more disturbing as I used to be when I simply blogged, now I am obsessive compulsive....more like Rainman every day.

I must tell you guys about my OU/Texas watch party.

We watched the game, grubbed a shitload of tailgate food and decided to play poker after the game. This dude named Bull breaks out bottles of Hot Damn and some Jagermeister.

MECCA

It de-evolved from that point on.....when I woke up on the couch with a mouth that felt like a Yak had taken a dump in it , through bloodshot eyes I saw Greg with his forehead planted on an invisible "dot" on the floor(arms straight out like an albatross), and I knew if I invaded his space he would spew like a fire hose. It was like he was praying to Mecca, ......to the North West.

It really didn't matter, he threw up in a summer cap, one that is perforated, that thankfully catches the "chunks". Bonus, huh.

Ain't football great.

Hugs and kisses, Sooner